Dear girl waiting in line,
What was it that your boyfriend did to make you so upset? As you may or may not have noticed, while you were busy breaking up with your boyfriend (over the phone...in line at Sparty's...) myself, and a few others, were listening in. And while I do not agree with the manner, time, or place in which you decided it was time to end the lovin', you kept me entertained and for that I say "thanks!"
Unfortunately, you got your plain bagel with cream cheese before I got mine so I never will find out for sure whether he understood "You can do whateva the f*ck you want."
Nonetheless, I wish you a splendid weekend filled with drunken h'awkwardness caused by too much rebound sex.
Sincerely,
girl who heard too much
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